


Can I Headbutt Him?

by Brotoman



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anger towards your ex, But with abs, Citadel doesn't take place during ME3 in this, Default Fem Shep, Krogan son, Mom Shep, Other, Past relatinonship with Jacob, Post ME3, Shepard is slightly over protective of their Krogan Son's "innocence", Slight Headcanons about cyborg Shepard, Son Grunt, Uncle Wrex, Wrex is best and worst uncle to ask for advice, Your kid disliking your ex, ignores canon ending, major abs, pre Citadel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-04
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-07-20 01:37:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7385731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brotoman/pseuds/Brotoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard isn't sure how to deal with a question Grunt asked her and goes to everyone's favorite Krogan Uncle for advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Headbutt Him?

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been thinking for awhile about how Grunt is in some of his characterization somewhat of a kid, a teenager, and an adult at the same time. With that I decided to try doing at least a one shot taking on a more kid like interpretation of the character and with the relationship with Shepard being more like parent and child. Though in this case with less direct interaction but more though how it could lead to certain things.
> 
> So hope this brings you a good chuckle or two.

"So Shepard what is it that you need help from your old Uncle Urdnot for?" Wrex smirked as he took a swig of his ryncol. In the corner of some hole in the wall bar on the Citadel, he sat going through drinks with the savior of the galaxy Commander Shepard. The rest of very few patrons and the bartender would take times to look over at the two but after a stern look from Wrex earlier in the evening had made sure they kept a respectful distance. So far the two had just been drinking and talking about the same basic daily events for them since the end of the war with the Reapers. She gave a slight humph and downed the rest of her current beer shoulder length red hair in a messy braid. 

"What I can't just want to spend time with an old friend?" Wrex just gave a throaty chuckle and gave her a side glance as Shepard ordered another beer.

"You only drink this much when something is bothering you. I may be old but I'm still plenty observant." Shepard just rolled her eyes and started sipping on her new drink.

"Not like it means anything anyway. Apparently coming back life as some sort of super cyborg makes getting drunk normally almost impossible." She stared at her drink and sighed. 

"Let me guess something is wrong with Grunt. Warned you not to coddle him." Shepard just rolled her eyes. The coddling that Wrex was referring to was after the war with the Reapers had ended she had moved into Anderson's old place that had been willed to her. At the same time, she had also had her son, because test tube or not and no matter what some fucking reports said to her Grunt was her son, moved in there as well. While possibly somewhat unhappy at first the young Krogan had quickly adjusted, especially after she had given him access to a new holographic training room the military had cooked up which while not real combat did seem to really prove fun for him, and things were currently going well for the two. She brought down her drink and pointed a finger at Wrex.

"First off he is chronologically two years old, second I'm the one that is legally his mother so I'm going to have him with me, and third I'm not keeping him away from combat or anything I let you take him Thresher hunting just two weeks ago." He held up his hands in mock defeat and went back to his drink making a grunt signaling Shepard to continue. 

"Well so a couple days ago I'm getting home from some shopping and he is watching that cartoon he likes, Battlemaster Chorris and the Galactic Commandos or something, and he suddenly says 'Can I headbutt him?' I just think he is talking about the bad guy on TV and just say that I was sure the character's voice actor is actually a nice person in real life. Yet then he just turns to me and says 'Not him Jacob. I want to headbutt him.'" Shepard finishes and Wrex takes another swig of ryncol before bringing his head back in a booming laugh. 

"Shepard isn't that just precious he's being protective of you." He gives her a light slap on the back and she just grumbles. 

"I don't even get it how he knew about that. We were only.... whatever we were for a short while and I sure didn't tell him." Wrex looks at her in slight disbelief. 

"You know how chatty almost everyone on that ship was. He probably knew about it within a day knowing them. Probably didn't really think about it until is now. More important things for him to focus on like killing Collectors and Reapers." By this point, she just ended up slamming her forehead onto the bar and groaned. 

"Great so I just have to deal with the fact my son wants to cause great bodily harm to my ex. I just hope it wasn't Joker that told him after that Asari Confessions incident he is on thin ice when it comes to corrupting my kid." Wrex went to drink again but noticed he was empty and just set it down. 

"So you don't want to harm him then? Hell, I wasn't involved and I kind of want to." Shepard drummed her fingers on the table slightly.

"I don't know. I mean I guess maybe we were never that serious and when we ran into each other again after I went to Earth the Reapers and Cerberus were more important so I didn't really think about it. I mean we are a both adults I'm fine... fine with him leaving me and knocking up another woman.. fine with..." suddenly her head shot up from the bar and she was shouting in rage "FINE THAT MY WISH TO HAVE A ROCK OF NORMALCY AMONG THE CONSTANT CRAZY THAT IS MY LIFE WAS GONE, THAT APPARENTLY WHEN HE TALKED ABOUT IT BEING A PRIZE IT WAS IN THE SHITTY CRANE GAME KIND TO BE FORGOTTEN ABOUT IN A WEEK, AND I WANT TO TURN HIS CHEATING ASS INSIDE FUCKING OUT WITH MY SPACE MAGIC!" Then as soon as it came the rage was gone and her head met bar again while the other patrons left for home and a new pair of pants. Wrex gave and understanding rumble and patted her back. Though the outburst did remind him that despite Shepard being hailed throughout the galactic community for their diplomatic skills there was a reason they were considered a good match for raising Grunt. 

"Well then it sounds like to me like you yourself aren't over it yet and if you aren't maybe he is picking up on it." Shepard just gave a tired groan. 

"Then what would you do about it?" 

"Headbutt him." She lightly thumped her head against the bar. 

"Should have expected that answer." She lifted her head and took a slow calming breath. She then downed her entire drink at once before doing the slow breath again. After two more cycles of this, the Asari bartender looking somewhat worried but not wanting to say anything, Shepard finally seemed to have collected herself. 

"Ok I have an idea I've been trying to set up a party for a while now to get everyone together again and catch up. I simply invite him there and at some point during it take him off to a side room and discuss things like two grown mature adults." 

"So why do it during a party? Do you want to make it a public dressing down for fun?" She shrugged rested her arms on the table. 

"Less that more than on the small, you might even say microscopic, chance we stop being mature adults and he wants to break the record on times punched in the throat there will hopefully be someone there crazy enough to stop me." Wrex let out a low chuckle. 

"Well we certainly have enough crazy to go around in our social circle. Still, at least it is a plan. Maybe not one for your section in the historical miniseries but it is one." Shepard just rolls her eyes and Wrex keeps talking. 

"You know every once in a while breeding requests still come in for you. Could send some your way, some of them are at least partially Krogan worth a damn. Certainly be a way to get one up on him." She lightly punched him in the arm.

"Wrex no. I'm a grown woman and can handle my own romantic issues." 

"Just looking out for my favorite human Shepard." At this, her lips curled up into a smirk. A smirk that just screamed she had found a way to turn the flow of the conversation back on him.

"Well seeing as I've been talking about my kid and love life all night I have to ask. Do I have any cousins I should be hearing about?" Wrex huffed and raised his arm to signal he wanted another drink. 

"Get as much alcohol as you need Shepard that is an issue that needs a lot of drinking to get through it."

Eventually after a lot more drinking, to the point the bartender actually asked how the two of them weren't dead, and talking the two friends parted ways. Shepard got back home and when she did she noticed Grunt still awake and watching the TV. 

"Young man shouldn't you be in bed right now?" The young Krogan stood up quickly and though looking a little guilty but seemingly happy. 

"Battlemaster I know you said you handled the issue yourself but I've figured out the best way to handle it." She rested a hand on her hip and cocked an eyebrow up. 

"Oh really what did you come up with?" Grunt grinned and brought his fist into his hand. 

"We'll both headbutt him." Shepard brought her palm to her face realizing that it might be better to schedule that party sooner rather than later.

**Author's Note:**

> Before you ask I don't really hate Jacob myself. While I dislike what they did somewhat with him in ME3 from a writing standpoint even if you romanced him most of the negativity in this was just what I think the versions of the characters in the story might feel in that conversation. Also, I know you could still get drunk in ME2 but I liked the idea of a Shepard that is frustrated by their inability to get drunk.


End file.
